


Gurl Bye

by ProspertheXVIII



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [7]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Drabble, Humour, M/M, Prompt Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-12 01:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13536867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProspertheXVIII/pseuds/ProspertheXVIII
Summary: Courtney wins CBB. Roy gets an unexpected Skype call. Jasmine is naked and slightly stoned.Tumblr prompt challenge 7/?: “I didn’t think you could get any less romantic...”





	Gurl Bye

**Author's Note:**

> Part of this drabble challenge: http://rosetlntstheworld.tumblr.com/post/170157290911/drabble-challenge
> 
> Message me a number and pairing and I'll get writing :D
> 
> (The premise of this one is fucking daft, but it's a sort of running gag with my pal @artificialzeezee of Tumblr fame. Don't think about it too hard.)

Roy hadn’t seen Shane in what felt like forever - having snatched the CBB crown as predicted, the gorgeous blond had been back on US soil for all of a day and a half, and would be coming over in all of an hour and a half. Roy felt butterflies almost akin to a first date, so beyond excited to see his beau again that it practically hurt. Of course, the Aussie had stormed back into his life with sharp tongue intact and spirit as high as ever - greeting him on arrival back in the country with:  _ Ive seen your insta posts from the last few weeks and youd better fucking shave before I see you - cba dealing with pash rash x _

So the instruction had been followed - Roy fresh out of the shower and dressed in a pyjama tank and underpants, face caked in white foam as he dealt with the stubble that Shane was allegedly so offended by. The sudden noise of his phone vibrating from its place face-down on the cistern had made him jump - almost causing him to peel a chunk off of his face with his razor and throw his phone in the toilet in immediate succession. What in the ever-loving hell was  _ Jasmine _ of all people doing calling him now? Well, he supposed it was probably Martell rather than Jasmine at this early hour of the evening, but whatever. Eyebrow raised in moderate confusion, he answered the call. 

He’d been wrong about the identity of the individual he’d be faced with. Jasmine Masters, as she lived and breathed - lying on her side on her couch, in full beat, that god-awful dreadlock wig, and earrings that bore striking resemblance to sizeable chandeliers; joint between her manicured fingers, and...well, that appeared to be about it. Roy breathed a heavy sigh. This had better be good. 

“Oh  _ fuck _ , you’re not-” The queen appeared taken aback by Roy’s appearance on the screen, sitting up out of her casually-reclined pose in a sort of panic, placing the joint between her lips as she tried to hang up, needing use of both hands. 

“Stay on the fucking line - what do you want?”

“Not you - fuck outta my business, bitch.” Her face cracked into a grin with this, half-cackling. “No shade, honey - where you been, gurl? I ain’t seen you in forever.” Roy pursed his lips, focusing on the task at hand. Why was Jasmine calling her? And why was she...

“Please tell me you’re just shirtless.”

“Shit, Bianca gurl - you look  _ horrible _ .” She guffawed at this, taking a quick drag as she drew breath between sentence and laugh.

“Thanks,” Roy drawled, deadpan. “Answer the question.”   
“Uh…”

“Jaz, Courtney’s been outta the country for about a month now - if you wanted to kai-kai, you’ve had months to set that shit up.” She laughed again at this, open-mouthed and ridiculous. 

“Ooh, you going to see your boo then? Explains the Santa beard.” Roy pressed on with the most concerning question on his mind.    
“Jasmine,  _ why _ are you naked?”   
  


“...No reason.”

“Spit it out, or I’m screen-recording this and putting it on Instagram.” 

“Look, current trade got an ‘R’ name too, and I’m not a good reader.” She gave Roy something of a scowl. “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, Miss B. Why, you think this all for you? Because no t, no shade, but I’d rather fuck Michelle.”   
“So would I.” Roy said, deadpan. “Cute - stoned Skype sex. Count me the fuck out.  **I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…** ”   
“And I’m meant to think you and the Aussie fish are just doing that dumb straight couple candlelit dinner talking about y’all’s lives shit? I got needs, B - I ain’t judging what you do on your nights off.”   
“I don’t call you in the middle of it.”

“Like I’d wanna see your clown-lookin’ ass balls-deep in Courtney. Gross.” 

“Places to go, people to see…” Roy muttered over the top of Jasmine, trying to block out the comment and the disturbing visuals it conjured. It did always occur to Roy how gross watching himself in the throes would be, regardless how how sexy it felt at the time. That, and he knew how god-awful watching yourself orgasm was from that one guy he’d been part-time fuck-buddies with back in NYC who’d had a mirrored ceiling. Yeesh.

“Jasmine, would you mind if I were to love you and leave you? As much as I’d love to sit around all day and watch you smoke pot and jack off whilst talking dirty with some dude you met on the road, Court’s gonna be here in less than an hour and I need all the time I can fucking get.” 

“Cute - tell Miss Thing congrats and all that shit.”   
“I will.”    
“Y’know, if y’all wanna meet up with us at some point to group k-”   
“Okay, bye Jasmine.” Roy hung up, sighing heavily as he tried not to laugh with the ridiculousness of it all - unsure of whether or not he knew where that sentence had been going, but in complete certainty that he had no desire to know. This was going to be something to tell Shane, at least - he thought this with a laugh as he went back to shaving. 

The phone buzzed a second time not thirty seconds later - for  _ fuck’s _ sake. 

“Still the wrong number, Jasmine. Invest in some fucking reading glasses.” 


End file.
